For those gainfully employed: It all starts with a good haircut.

My advice to the contemporary professional is to have good hair. Happy hair, quality hair, stylish hair…all necessary as a cornerstone for your goals of a rewarding employment, a routine social acceptance, and a nourishment of your true inner beauty.

What about faith in God and a positive outlook about His effects in your life? Check. A positive work experience? Of course. Reliable transportation and a decent wiggle room in finances to cushion the occasional, expected lunch with colleagues? Think ahead, pal; these are obviously necessary.

But unless you are Yul Brynner, Bruce Willis, Damon Wayans, or Sinead O’Conner (all of whom are hot), you should certainly take my advice on investing in a fashionable, contemporary, lucious haircut.

Best show on ’80s television. Worst hair since.
One alternate solution for helmet hair.

If you are currently sporting a Golden Girls ‘do, please, please shave it in a Natalie-Portman-Vendetta manner, or head to the nearest salon.

Locating a salon that will cater to your new look is simple, but it will take choice on your part based on preference . Option 1 is to find the most expensive, most froofysnobby, person who has been doing hair for 22+ years (yet somehow looks only 31 years old); these people have their aging portraits in the attic, but they know how to make you look amazing. You will pay dearly for the change in your look, but a change is exactly what you want. See, your cousin can give you a haircut. Your mom even gave you plenty of them, I am sure, during the early years. I even paid a mere $2 for each haircut I received in the Main Hall 2nd floor lounge during my undergrad. But you want a look, so pay for a concept from a professional. And do not forget the tip: Emily Post reminds us that 15-20% is customary.

Option 2 is more fiscally reasonable but has a tinge of controversy. Choose a teenager or early twentysomething, preferably female, who works at a mall salon. Strip mall salons are allowed for this option, and the 20% tip still stands. Once you are in the chair, you may now meet your stylist/washer/cashier. This young lady should have long, glittery, multi-tonal acrylics and a lip stud. She may or may not already have children, and despite her youth, she is very mature and business-like. And she can definitely do hair. The option controversy arises from your scoping out this girl.  You may think she is too young, too urban… well, knock it off, hipster. Leave the preconceived suspicions to the folks you look down on.

Last August, when I was lying in bed, crying, watching Hallmark Channel movies and praying for death (I was quitting cigarettes at the time), I found myself watching The Joy Behar Show one night. Friends, that is what the hell of quitting can do to you… you find Ms. Behar to be remotely entertaining. Must be the purge of toxins and subsequent lack of oxygen. Anyway, Jennifer Love Hewitt was on, promoting her new Lifetime movie and explaining what it is like no longer being in a relationship with Jamie Kennedy. Yes, America, remember Malibu’s Most Wanted? Somehow Jamie Kennedy and Jennifer Love Hewitt were a couple (who knew??) but no longer, according to Jennifer Love. I wholly did not care about any of that. I wanted her HAIR. Writer’s Note: I attempted to upload a clip of the interview that inspired my hair change, but leave it to Joy Behar to bring in inappropriate images and questionable side comments. Google it for yourselves. Fair warning.

Jennifer Love Hewitt 2010

Fast forward to my haircut. I drug myself out of my bedroom the morning after the Jennifer Love interview; I think I even showered that day (remember, I was still in cigarette mourning). I drove to a reputable stylist and asked her to Google “Jennifer Love Hewitt Joy Behar interview” on the office computer. An interesting consequence occurred: I transformed. No, I wasn’t Ms. Hewitt; I was me. But I became a more comfortable, more spirited, less fearful ME. And what an amazing transformation indeed! I became …approachable. Women with whom I have worked at my job for years but with whom I have spoken less than morning greetings were suddenly interested in knowing who I am. “Um, I am like so sorry to ask this, but the building is so big, you know? I mean, I should know, but what is your name again?” Don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t insulted. I was just surprised.

So, my advice is to seek out and shape your style with beautiful new hair based on your face shape. Above all, nurture the outside only as you nourish your inner beauty.


One thought on “For those gainfully employed: It all starts with a good haircut.

  1. Pingback: 8-5-2008 Dream Fragment The Movies « John Jr's WordPress Blog

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