Aaron: I mean, seriously, Colleen. Do you know how hard it is to chat up a girl bartender?

Me: Not really, no.

Aaron: It’s like trying to take a stripper home.

Me: Yeah, I still have nothing to add to this conversation.

Aaron: Never watch a horror movie right before the midnight shift.

Me: Why is that?

Aaron: Oh, you know. Deer flipping on the sensors… Demons in the corn fields…

Me: I won’t. I don’t watch horror movies anyway. I get too scared even in my own house.

Aaron: Your house? Heh. Try not setting your job ablaze because that (censored) from The Ring just stepped out of your control monitor.

Aaron: Colleen, your meager plastic cup pyramid has nothing on what we did at the last wedding I went to.

Me: You made a cup pyramid at a wedding?

Aaron: Yep. On a table with fancy linens. It was huge.

Me: This picture is obnoxious. How many are there?

Aaron: Not sure, but this picture shows the first attempt. There was a second pyramid.

Me: Um, this is what you did at someone’s wedding?

Aaron: Colleen, you don’t get it. The base was like 6’x6′.

Aaron: Oh my God, do not get the new Listerine 6-in-1! The horror… The horror!!!!

Me: I don’t think I choose men well.

Aaron: (eyes wide) Nope. Not at all. At all.

Me: Ouch, so much for compassion…

Aaron: I’ve met all of them except that last one. They were all like, “Here’s a nice girl. Let’s suck the good stuff out of a great situation and blame her for not having anything left.”

Me: I did it. I finally quit smoking. For real.

Aaron: Fantastic! How’d you do it?

Me: Chantix. I cried nonstop. That prescription is brutal and will force you to be unnecessarily maniacal.

Aaron: Yeah, that Chantix doesn’t work for everyone. My mom enjoyed it, but she is really one of a kind.

Me: Did you know in the Alchemy game that Life + Man = 1UP?

Aaron: Did you know I can make ’em?