The “Little Girl Crush” and Balancing Perceptions

America, there is a phenomenon called the Little Girl Crush (LGC) that effects most girls and women regardless of color, creed, or religious affiliation. I skipped listing the sexual orientation part, as I am hetero so I cannot speak for my lesbian compatriots on this topic, but I gather there is not much difference.

The LGC is simple: a crush one girl has on another person, usually female, in the most non-romantic but very affectionate way. The LGC is actually a positive, healthy manner of expressing admiration and kinship with someone to whom a girl may or may not be related. From my favorite elementary school teacher, Miss Stewart, whom at the time I had decided was 26 years old (more like 66…), to my gratitude of the Disney Princesses’ attention at Disney World, I proudly state that LGC is normal.

The LGC is not to be confused with Little Girl Luv (LGL), of which I have many personal examples. I have been in L-G-Luv with John Cusak since the third grade, with Patrick Dempsey since the fourth grade, and with Johnny Depp since, quite possibly, the beginning of time. In fact, anyone who remotely looks like Jesus, I have luved. My first Hollywood romance, albeit one-sided, was with the young actor Noah Hathaway who played Atreyu in the film version of Michael Ende’s novel The NeverEnding Story. He did not know it, but Noah Hathaway and I were getting married one day despite my being virtually an infant at the height of his acting career.

Patrick Dempsey in 1989 and today. Both luv-worthy.

Johnny Depp between iconic hairstyles.

Combining my love and my luv. This picture is so ...wrong, yet so true.

That was fun. Now, back to the very different Little Girl Crush. These flutters of emotion are usually reserved for the special, platonic relationships with other girls.

For example, at my wedding, my 3rd grade-age niece and her little friend followed me like pied piper rats (but in a cute way) and giggled, blushed, and cooed each time I leaned down and spoke gently in their little faces.

“Are you having a good time?” *Blush, coo, giggle*

“Did you try the cake yet?” *Squirm, giggle, tug on dress*

Granted, it feels good to have a pretty person select YOU as special and worthy for honest discourse. Those conversations always seem especially uplifting and emotionally targeted. Case in point via My Big Fat Greek Wedding: Remember when Toula Portokalos (played with subtlety and understated brilliance by writer Nia Vardalos) ate the white bread sandwiches with the blonde girls at the community college lunch table? She was so happy to be found by those who typified normalcy to her.

In the age of class warfare and cliques (by the way, if you think cliques end in high school, oh my friend, don’t kid yourself), we forget that pretty people can be as kind and empathetic as us ugly folks. Is this realization of actual empathy one of the reasons the LCG has such an impact? We never expect to feel such an affection that, before now, has no name and no easily definable expectation.

Here’s my question of balance: why are we girls surprised when another female gives us positive attention? Is this suspicion of irony the source of the happy realization of someone else’s gentility? Well, I am taking back the taboo.

Ladies, feel free to express your kindness to others, especially to other women. I may return to this topic of balancing perceptions, as I believe that holistic, inner balance stems from reconciling what you like about yourself with what others like about you.

And for you gals (and guys… don’t lie…) who loved the film and luved the characters, I found this music video from 1984. Artax!!!!

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One thought on “The “Little Girl Crush” and Balancing Perceptions

  1. Patrick Dempsey! I forgot all about that old crush of mine. Can’t Buy Me Love was the best. And that one where he was pimping himself out while schlepping pizzas on the side? So few women who fell in love with McDreamy (I am not a Grey’s fan by the way) even remember our good friend Ronald Miller. Blasphemy! I say you can’t claim to love him if you didn’t love him in his geeky days.

    I know you read my imaginary boyfriends posts, but have you read my two John Cusack posts? No need to read, just scan the photos if you wish:
    http://childhoodrelived.com/2011/12/04/a-dear-john-letter/
    http://childhoodrelived.com/2011/12/04/a-dear-john-letter/

    I still have a LGC on John, despite that I broke up with him.

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